Adui my love, adui
by SilverSmile
Summary: “I… I don’t know what to… what to say.” He rasped out, the words sounding foreign to his own ears. Sometimes it's not too late. EdRoy.


Hello!

Just a stort story that's been hanging around in the back of my mind for weeks now, so I needed to just write it out of my system!

Disclaimer: characters aren't mine.

Enjoy!

Delzy

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Adieu my love, Adieu…

Life was cruel. He knew this better then anyone. The things he had seen, had heard, had done! Yes, he knew that life was cruel. Fate was always laughing at one Roy Mustang like it was happy hour on the TV. Fate had allowed him to sample the sweetness of life for the first time since the War. Had granted him what seemed like the intimate pardon in allowing him to try the subtle colours of spring; the never ending steams of light from the sun and the warmth of another's touch. Then, when he had become addicted to the sweetness, all these wonderful things had been brutally wrenched from him with nothing more then a childlike laugh. A laugh so full of innocence he knew there was no way for him to ever get back what he had now lost.

He took in a hollow breath as his eyes blandly trailed over the crowd standing out under the cloudy sky, the sun occasionally peaking out form behind the fluffy white cotton balls. His heart ached with pain as sorrow marred his brow. Tension kept his back straight while jealousy swam in his dark, onyx eyes like a monster just under their murky surface. Why were those others so privileged to be able to withstand the warmth and light of the rays of sunlight while he was forced to be in the shadows, the darkness clutching at him relentlessly.

He bitterly thought of how ironic is was that the small amount of light provided by the sun was enough to cause him to cower in the shadows, while he was responsible for countless lives being destroyed by simply clicking his figures. So many lives extinguished in his flames… Belatedly he could vaguely remember a time when he would have been able to withstand the harshest of sunlight, a time when shadows were nothing more then places were the defeated dwelled and no place for a rising star like himself. That had been a time of standing tall on his own two feet with no need for another beside him.

Then he had come and everything changed. No longer could Roy bare the thought of being out there without him by his side. Despite all the obstacles they had made something for themselves. The perfect little world where only they existed and no one was there to look on and judge them, no one was watching for a weakness they couldn't afford to expose, no one was watching as they were finally allowed to just be themselves. That small world became everything to Roy. If he didn't exist with his significant other, then there was nothing in the world worth existing with. It had gotten to the point where his companion wasn't just a nice addition, but a necessity to his very being.

A flash of blond caught his attention and he was shaken out of his thoughts as hope flared in his heart for a moment. A second in time was all it took for him to see his love standing before him, beckoning him into the light once more. Golden hair that the sunlight played with shone as equally accepting golden eyes stared back into his dark onyx ones, embracing him despite his faults. He heard the laughing voice of his lover calling out to him, calling for him to smile and stop being so gloomy.

Yet a simple blink of his eyes shattered the illusion and the harsh reality of life crushed what was remained of his tattered spirits. Brown eyes stared up at him as the glaring sunlight seemed to only reflect of the blond hair before his eyes.

"Sir, don't you want to come and say something?" Riza asked, her eyes concerned and saddened by the days passing.

Looking at, but not really seeing her, he simply shook his head, not believing that his voice would be up to the challenge of making a sound interpretable to the human ear.

The second lutenit nodded slightly, attempting to understand. With a quick salute and a moments' hesitation, she turned and walked away from him, realizing that he didn't wish for her company. She didn't know much about Roy when it came to moments like this, but what she did know was that the only person who he needed at that moment was the only one that he couldn't have. It wasn't a comforting thought…

Roy watched through his dark eyes as the people who had come today began to disperse as a great number of dark and stormy clouds began rolling in fast, quickly blocking out the friendly sun and cotton clouds, leaving the once vibrantly coloured area a picture shaded in greys. As the first cold drops of rain began to fall the remaining people left. He was along at last.

The pitter-patter of raindrops increased in volume and quantity as the heavens unleashed their tears upon the earths' soil. The sounds sufficiently blocked out all other noise beside that of his continuous breathing. With only a small acceleration in breath he moved forward finally, feet leading him into the now dull coloured world. It's only saving grace was that it didn't hurt to move around anymore. This was his world now, his sanctuary. No longer was that world so full of life and colour anything more then a distant memory of a time when he was happy and content… Content – the very idea of the word was almost laughable to him now.

Slow steps guided him closer and closer still to his destination; a place he had never wanted to run from more in his life. Yet with every thought of abandonment an equally persistent thought of wanting to be as close as possible to that one place whispered in the back of his mind, in a voice that sounded eerily familiar to that of his love. Finally, after what felt like ages, he found himself before the small stone tablet and mound of dirt. As the heavens released a thunderous cry he bowed his head, eyes hidden as they could not bare the read the inscription before him.

'_Edward Elric _

_Beloved brother_

_Loving person_

_Hero to the people_

_You left us too soon'_

So many thoughts rushed around in his head, playing a never ending game of tag. Words fumbled around in the back of his throat, none knowing which ones were the most important to get out first. Memories played out before him minds eyes as a torturous reminder of what he had now lost.

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Ed looking back to him from where he paused meters ahead along the sidewalk, a brilliant smile touching his lips as eyes sparkled with life.

'_Roy, come on you slow poke!'_

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A flushed Fullmetal Alchemist standing in a defensive stance with hands clenched at his sides as he glared.

'_Bastard General'_

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Moonlight played off his features making him look paler then normal and his golden hair glowed angelic silver. Golden eyes looked over to him as a peaceful smile graced his lips. Stars twinkled in the background as he leaned against the window pane.

'_Isn't it nice tonight?'_

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A fire crackled as it both lit and warmed the cozy sitting room. Curled up on the couch with him Ed fit perfectly in his arms as he stroked the golden locks he loved so much. Without looking up the blond broke the content silence, voice soft in the room.

'_Do you think we could just stay this way forever? Would anyone would notice?'_

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Golden eyes sparkled with a million emotions that could only be conveyed in that single look and smiled that smile Ed reserved only for him; Roys' smile.

'_I love you'_

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Roy didn't know what to say to his dearly departed as he stood there. Words of well wishes were never his style and he found himself not wishing for the blond to have left him in the first place. Questions of why Ed had thought it was a good time to leave Roy now haunted him as pain filled confessions whispered just out of reach. He found himself lost once more, just like when Hughs had died.

Defeat engulfed him as he realized what was wrong. He didn't know what to do anymore…

"Sir?" Riza's voice called out softly to him, barely heard over the harshness of the rain pelting down upon his unprotected self.

Eyes dragged up from the stone before him, not even having registered that he had opened them. Squinting in the rain he managed to make her out clearly enough to satisfy. She stood holding an umbrella to shield herself from the rain and she'd somehow managed to change her clothes from what she had been wearing last time he had seen her.

"Sir, you've been standing here for over four hours. You need to get dry or you'll be sick." She sounded concerned again; her eyes steadily trained upon him like he was the mark she intended to hit with her precious gun.

Had time passed that quickly since he came and stood here? Four hours of his life, wasted just standing there, looking at a rock that held more significance to him then even the most valuable treasure in all the land. He had a feeling that a lot of his time in the future – or what was left of his – would be spent in a similar fashion.

"I… I don't know what to… what to say." He rasped out, the words sounding foreign to his own ears. His throat hurt for some reason and he allowed his eyes to once again drop to the ground in shame. For a moment he was afraid that she wouldn't – couldn't – understand what he had said as she seemed to remain silent for so long.

Suddenly the rain stopped hitting him and he briefly wondered why he could still see it falling in front of his eyes, before it clicked that Riza had moved over and was now sharing the umbrella with him. Something about the simple action caused his tongue to become lose and he found words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"I should say something, but, but I don't… I need to but, what does he want me to… Riza," he turned to her with the look of a lost child upon his face, desperate for her to tell him what he was supposed to do next. His eyes wide and fearful as his bottom lip trembled with unleashed tears.

"How can I say it, Riza?" he rasped out pathetically.

She remained silent for a moment then reached over to him. For a second he was once again worried about what she would do, would she hit him for being so weak before her. A side of him he had only ever allowed his love to witness. However he dispelled any worry when she simply rested a cool hand over the soggy material covering his chest, over where his heart was supposedly located.

"Say what's in here Roy, it's all he wants to hear before he leaves." She said softly before retracting the hand and turning away slightly.

"I'll be waiting at the car when you're done." With that she turned and walked away, shaking out the umbrella as she did.

It was with a vague amount of interest that he noticed the rain had now stopped and the dark clouds were retreating first to the fluffy cotton ones and then the blueness of the sky that would follow.

Taking a deep breath Roy turned back to the stone once again, his back to the woman who had just offered more comfort then be silently believed himself to deserve. It was this breath that changed him slightly. This time he could smell the dampness and freshness in the air after the big rain. As he let it out feeling of strange warmth overcame his body. Warmth he'd learned to always associate with a lovers embrace.

Standing up straight he saluted the grave stone for a moment before turning slightly away. Eyes going over every detail once more he attempted a small, feeble smile that could break with the softest breeze and said in a voice just for his love to hear;

"Adieu my love, adieu."

Turning he headed over to Riza's car, not seeing the cotton clouds finally breaking and allowing a single beam of sunlight to flood the small grave site. Roy missed a young golden haired boy smile at his retreating form from beside the grave, eyes burning with the light of the sun itself. He didn't see the golden boy raise his flesh right hand and offer a small wave of farewell to Roys' back before turning and walking away himself, fading into the shadows.

Yet as Roy opened the door to get into the car, he could have sworn the wind had whispered back to him in his lovers' own voice;

"Adieu my Roy, adieu."

Fin

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